How Parents Can Support Their LGBTQ Child

Coming out is often the most significant and nerve-wracking moment in an LGBTQ young person’s life, and their parents’ reaction is the factor they worry about most. As a parent, you are your child’s anchor, and your unconditional support is the single most powerful factor affecting their future.

LGBTQ youth who report high levels of family acceptance have better mental health, higher self-esteem, and lower rates of depression and suicide attempts than those who don’t. This guide outlines how parents can support their LGBTQ child in five practical ways. Continue reading to learn how you can step into your role as an unwavering ally and support the child you love exactly as they are.

The Importance of LGBTQ Family Acceptance

Before we dive into how parents can support their LGBTQ child, we should discuss why this support is so important. Friends and family support systems for LGBTQ youth play a key role in the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of children and teens today.

According to research conducted by the Family Acceptance Project, LGBTQ youth who reported high levels of family acceptance of their LGBTQ identity also reported higher levels of self-esteem, social support, and general health compared to those who reported low levels of LGBTQ family acceptance.

Furthermore, according to research from the Trevor Project, supportive parent actions on LGBTQ youth were associated with lower suicide risk. Whereas LGBTQ youth who reported low levels of family acceptance experienced higher levels of depression, substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts.

Note: If anyone is having suicidal thoughts, they should get help immediately. Contact the suicide hotline for assistance (988) or call Malvern Behavioral Health (610-480-8919). We have staff available 24/7 to assist someone feeling depressed or having unsafe thoughts.

5 Ways to Show Parental Support For LGBTQ Youth

As a parent or guardian, you want to be the best possible source of support and love for your child, but knowing how to start can feel overwhelming, especially when they come out as LGBTQ. Remember, your job isn’t to fix anything; rather, it’s to celebrate and advocate for the person they are.

Showing up for your child requires building trust, staying involved, and educating yourself. To help you take those critical first steps, we’ve outlined five practical and powerful ways for how parents can support their LGBTQ child and be their unwavering ally.

1. Let Them Know They Are Loved

For LGBTQ youth, coming out to their parents is frequently the hardest step. Opening up about their identity takes courage, and showing you appreciate their trust makes a real impact. Thank them for sharing their true self with you and reassure them that your love is unconditional.

In the beginning, try to listen more than you speak. Allow your child the time to talk and use active listening as a chance to show empathy. Simply being open and present is how parents can support their LGBTQ child. A loving, direct statement like, “I’m here for you. I love you, and I will support you no matter what,” speaks volumes and can be life-changing for your child.

2. Create a Safe Space & Encourage Dialogue

It can feel impossible to get your children to open up, but building foundational trust through small, consistent steps will create a safe environment—a crucial step for how parents can support their LGBTQ child.

Be actively curious about their daily life, such as knowing their friends, understanding their interests, and asking specific questions about their day. Even if it feels like a constant battle, remember that children do want to talk to their parents about their lives.

These daily check-ins aren’t just small talk. When you stay engaged in your child’s routine, you create a safe space for them to discuss complex issues like sexuality later on. Frequent communication directly increases your child’s comfort level in sharing serious topics with you.

When a sensitive topic needs to be discussed, try a less direct approach. Many adolescents may struggle to talk about themselves. Parents of LGBTQ youth can ease into things by discussing their child’s friends or characters from a show or movie you watch together.

Today’s media is full of teachable moments you can use. While it may feel impersonal, discussing a character allows you to broach sensitive topics in a less intimidating way. For example, if a movie features a bisexual character, you could simply say: “The character in this show is attracted to boys and girls. That’s completely fine with me. What do you think about that?”

However, it’s important to remember that social media can also be dangerous and negatively impact your child. While some social platforms are tools for your child to connect with friends and allies, some include content that’s inappropriate or harmful to our sons or daughters.

3. Educate Yourself

Take the initiative to educate yourself on gender identity using various reliable resources. This knowledge is crucial for becoming a strong advocate and ally for your child and the entire LGBTQ+ community.

Any parent or guardian, including parents of LGBTQ youth may hold misconceptions about gender and sexual orientation. Educating yourself will help you demystify the common stereotypes surrounding LGBTQ individuals, including:

• It’s not “just a phase.” Embrace your child’s evolving self; do not dismiss it.
• There is no “cure.” This is not something that needs to be fixed.
• Don’t search for blame. Instead, focus on celebrating and accepting your child completely.

Additionally, you can share resources you find with your child, such as support groups, counseling services, and more. Remember that this is a journey for you as well as your child. Together, you can grow and learn the best ways to support each other, leading to a healthier and stronger relationship.

4. Stay Involved

Be an active participant in your child’s hobbies and interests. Your involvement sends a strong message that you genuinely value their passions and explorations. Furthermore, since children spend so much time in school, it’s vital to ensure they feel comfortable there. Here’s how parents can support their LGBTQ child in school:

• Support a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA): These clubs are proven to create safer school environments and even improve academic performance for LGBTQ students.
• Maintain Teacher Contact: Regular communication ensures you’re immediately aware if any issues arise.
• Demand Inclusive Education: Push for sex education that meets the needs of LGBTQ students. Since very few states provide adequate information, you need to be aware of these knowledge gaps so you can fill them for your child.
• Use Your Voice: Never hesitate to speak up. Parents hold significant power in the school system. If a problem isn’t being addressed, escalate your concerns to the principal or the school board. You have the power to enact change.

Unfortunately, bullying can be an issue for many students, but especially for LGBTQ youth who may be targeted for being different. Individuals experiencing bullying in school may show one or more of these signs:

• Becoming withdrawn, isolated, or depressed.
• Experiencing disciplinary or behavioral problems in school.
• Receiving declining grades, losing concentration, etc.
• Being absent frequently and without explanation.
• Having sudden shifts in friends, partners, etc.
• Participating in risky behavior that is out of character for your child.

While you can’t be with your child every second of every day, knowing the signs of bullying is important to safeguarding your child’s mental, emotional, and physical health. If you notice any of the signs above, talk to a guidance counselor or school administrator.

5. Prioritize Mental Health and Wellness

One of the best ways that parents can support their LGBTQ child is by supporting their identity. Their identity is key to their mental health and a strong sense of self. Your support must be consistent and sincere. In order to be their best advocate, you must also look after yourself. Parents of LGBTQ youth need to prioritize their mental health as well. Don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself when you need it.

Therapy can be a valuable tool in maintaining your and your child’s mental well-being since it offers a safe space to explore and address challenges. Consider trying a mental health professional who specializes in gender-affirming therapy for families and individuals.

Remember, learning how parents can support their LGBTQ child is about consistent, everyday love and acceptance. By opening the door to dialogue, educating yourself, and actively advocating for your child both at home and at school, you secure their foundation and empower their future.

Find the right LGBTQ+ mental health support and call our Wisteria Program today.