Technology and Self-Confidence: Building Self-Esteem in the Digital Age

At first glance, people may not see how closely connected technology and self-confidence are, but when you look closer it becomes clear that the influence of technology on self-esteem is significant. Continue reading to learn more about how technology and self-confidence are related and how protecting self-esteem online is more important now than ever.

The Influence of Technology on Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how we view ourselves. Individuals with healthy self-esteem like themselves and value their achievements. Having a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean being confident all the time.

However, when we constantly feel unhappy or unsatisfied with ourselves, it can be a sign of low self-esteem. Someone struggling with low self-esteem may show the following signs:

• Being extremely critical of themselves.
• Downplaying or ignoring their positive qualities.
• Judging themselves to be inferior to their peers.
• Using negative words to describe themselves (such as “stupid”, “fat”, “ugly”, or “unlovable”).
• Having discussions with themselves that are negative, critical, and self-blaming (negative self-talk).
• Assuming luck plays a large role in their achievements and doesn’t take credit for them.
• Blaming themselves when things go wrong instead of taking into account other things they have no control over.
• Not believing people who compliment them.

Digital self-esteem, how we view our self-worth online, is often impacted by social media. Even if you have healthy self-esteem, experiencing negative feedback, making comparisons, and trying to live up to unrealistic standards or expectations online can significantly lower your confidence and self-worth.

Experiencing low digital self-esteem can reduce the quality of a person’s life in numerous ways including, but not limited to:

Negative feelings. Constant self-criticism can result in feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, shame, or guilt.

Relationship problems. Feeling unworthy or unlovable can make it difficult to connect with others socially, emotionally, and physically.

Fear of trying new things. When someone doubts their abilities or self-worth, they tend to avoid challenges and new experiences for fear of failure.

Perfectionism. Trying to meet unrealistic expectations can cause people to push themselves and become overachievers to make up for what they find inferior about themselves.

Fear of judgment. Feeling self-conscious and judging themselves too harshly can lead people to avoid activities that involve other people because they fear being judged and rejected.

Low resilience. Having low self-esteem can make it difficult to cope with challenging events since they already feel they’re “hopeless” or “inadequate”.

Lack of self-care. When someone feels bad about themselves on the inside, they may stop taking care of themselves on the outside leading to unhealthy behaviors and lack of personal care.

Self-harming behaviors. Struggling with low self-esteem increases the risk of self-harming behaviors, such as eating disorders, substance abuse, or suicidal ideations.

While improving your self-confidence can be difficult to begin with, building self-esteem in the digital age can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. Social media has made it increasingly hard for individuals to refrain from unhealthy habits that hurt their self-esteem rather than support it.

Social Media and Self-Worth

When we’re constantly scrolling through images and videos of people who seem to be living perfect lives, it can be easy to fall into the trap of pointing out what others have that we may not.

This can take a toll on our self-worth and overall mental well-being. Below, we’ve broken down some of the main ways social media and self-worth are connected.

Unrealistic Expectations and Comparisons

When it comes to technology and self-confidence, it’s important to understand how many of the negative effects are brought on by unrealistic comparisons. Social media platforms have become a place for people to share the best aspects of their lives, but often fail to show the difficult times and imperfections we all know are a part of life.

Feeds are filled with pictures of vacations, outings with friends, and carefully edited selfies. While there is nothing wrong with sharing happy memories online, it becomes an issue when we find ourselves comparing our experiences to those we see from other accounts.

Positive and Negative Feedback

The feedback we receive online also plays a key role in the connection between technology and self-confidence. Likes, comments, shares, and more have become sources of validation and approval for users.

Getting more likes and positive comments can boost people’s digital self-esteem, making them feel accepted in their social circle. However, in the same respect, seeing other people or accounts receiving more attention on their posts and the pressure to gain followers and likes can hurt our self-confidence, making us feel ignored or inadequate.

Lack of Privacy and FOMO

Fear of missing out (FOMO) refers to the feeling or perception that others are having fun, experiencing new things, or living a better life than you. FOMO can happen to anyone in any context, but social media has become one of the most common ways of experiencing it, making it one of the most common negative effects of technology on confidence.

This can have a negative lasting impact on our self-confidence and once again leave us trying to meet unrealistic expectations. Everyone wants to be accepted, and when we feel like we aren’t or like we’re missing out on something everyone else is experiencing, we may do the wrong things to be included. For example, seeing others drinking, using substances, and more on social media may make us more inclined to participate to fit in.

Cyberbullying and Self-Confidence

Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, embarrass, threaten, or target another person, and contrary to popular belief it can happen to anyone at any age. Recent studies found that:

• More than 1 in 4 middle and high school students have experienced cyberbullying in the past month.
• 48% of U.S. adults think harassment is a major problem on X (formerly Twitter).
• 76% of U.S. gamers (ages 18-45) have experienced harassment.
• More than a third of women under 40 years old have received unsolicited sexual images from someone who was not a partner or romantic interest.
• About 91% of female LinkedIn users have received romantic advances or inappropriate messages at least once.

One of the main issues with cyberbullying is that it can be constant and appear in many forms and places on the internet, including but not limited to:

• Sending threatening or abusive text messages.
• Creating and sharing embarrassing images or videos.
• Sending menacing or upsetting messages on social networks, chat rooms, or online games (trolling).
• Excluding people from online games, activities, or groups.
• Shaming someone online.
• Setting up hate sites or groups about a particular person.
• Encouraging people to self-harm.
• Voting for or against someone in an abusive poll.
• Creating fake accounts or stealing online identities.
• Sending explicit messages (sexting).
• Pressuring someone to send sexual images or engage in sexual conversations.

Like any type of bullying, the negative effects of cyberbullying can last long after the harassment stops, which is why it’s crucial to know the warning signs and resources to get help for you or someone you know experiencing cyberbullying. Some of these negative effects include:

• Developing mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.
• Loss of self-esteem and lack of confidence.
• Feelings of shame, rejection, and isolation.
• Difficulties sleeping and concentrating.
• Physical issues such as headaches and stomachaches.
• Increased risk of eating disorders.
• Increased risk of self-harm, suicidal ideations, and suicide attempts.

Additionally, it’s often difficult to identify the source of bullying because users can hide behind anonymous accounts and screen names. This can add to the feeling of hopelessness a victim of cyberbullying may feel, and even prevent them from seeking help.

Protecting Self-Esteem Online

There’s no denying that, in the digital age, technology and self-confidence are connected. While it’s unlikely that this will change, there are some things we can do to protect and even improve our digital self-esteem.

Consider implementing the following five practices to find a healthy balance between the use of technology and self-confidence.

To combat the negative effects of technology addiction, it’s crucial to establish healthy habits, such as adopting practical strategies for reducing screen time, setting boundaries, and fostering a balanced relationship with technology.

Practicing self-care, including good sleep hygiene, and other mindfulness techniques to improve our well-being can go a long way in building self-esteem in the digital age. However, if you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, it’s important to seek help from a professional.

Mental health programs, therapy sessions, and other treatments can provide individuals with the guidance they need to feel like themselves again.

If you or someone you know is experiencing low self-esteem or other mental health conditions, talk to one of our team members to see how we can help today.