Individuals holding hands and comforting each other.
Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Therapy
09/08/2025

Dealing With Grief After Suicide: Healing, Coping, & Life After Loss

by Jerry Kosmin

Grief is a complex journey, but when a loved one dies by suicide, it can be overwhelming. The experience is often complicated by powerful emotions like shock, guilt, and confusion.

As you navigate life after such a profound loss, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. This guide offers insights and tools into dealing with grief after suicide to help you understand your feelings, find support, and begin to heal.

If anyone is having suicidal thoughts, they should get help immediately. Contact the suicide hotline for assistance (988) or call Malvern Behavioral Health (610-480-8919). We have staff available 24/7 to assist someone feeling depressed or having unsafe thoughts.

The Unique Pain of Grieving a Suicide Loss

Losing a loved one to suicide can be emotionally overwhelming, leaving you with a mix of heartbreaking grief and consuming guilt. You might find yourself wondering if you could have done something to prevent their death. For example, you may experience:

  • Shock: You might feel a sense of disbelief and emotional numbness, unable to accept that the suicide is real.
  • Anger: Your anger could be directed at your loved one for leaving you with so much pain, or at yourself and others for missing the warning signs.
  • Guilt: You might find yourself replaying “what if” or “if only” scenarios in your mind, blaming yourself for your loved one’s death.
  • Despair: You may be overwhelmed by sadness, loneliness, or helplessness. In some cases, this can lead to a physical collapse or even suicidal thoughts.
  • Confusion: Many people try to make sense of the death, but you will likely be left with unanswered questions.
  • Rejection: You might question why your relationship wasn’t enough to keep your loved one from dying by suicide.

 

These intense reactions can continue for weeks or months after the suicide, especially if you witnessed or discovered it. When dealing with grief after suicide, you may also experience nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, social withdrawal, and a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. As you navigate life after this profound loss, remember that you don’t have to go through it alone.

What Is Complicated Grief?

The sudden and alarming nature of a loved one’s suicide can also trigger a condition known as complicated grief. This form of grief is a mix of overwhelming and contradictory emotions, and the pain of your loss doesn’t ease over time. Instead, it remains unresolved, preventing you from resuming your own life and relationships.

Both complicated and suicide grief can lead to more serious conditions like major depression, psychological trauma, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). When this happens, you may become overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts, upsetting emotions, and persistent anxiety that interferes with your daily routine. If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression or trauma, it’s important to seek help.

Symptoms of Suicide Grief

Everyone grieves in their own way, and as a result, symptoms of suicide grief will vary depending on the individual. However, being aware of some common symptoms of dealing with grief after suicide is important to ensure you or someone you love receives the help they need to move forward. Below, we’ve broken down some of the emotional, physical, and behavioral changes someone may experience while dealing with suicide loss.

Emotional 

  • Intense sadness and despair.
  • Anxiety, panic attacks, and feelings of being on edge.
  • Emotional numbness or detachment.
  • Mood swings.

Physical

  • Fatigue and changes in energy levels.
  • Changes in appetite or sleep patterns.
  • Headaches or other physical aches and pains.

Behavioral

  • Social withdrawal and isolation.
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
  • Increased use of alcohol or other substances.

If anyone is having suicidal thoughts, they should get help immediately. Contact the suicide hotline for assistance (988) or call Malvern Behavioral Health (610-480-8919). We have staff available 24/7 to assist someone feeling depressed or having unsafe thoughts.

Woman hugging another individual who is dealing with grief after suicide.

Coping With Grief After a Suicide Loss

As we mentioned before, dealing with grief after suicide can feel like an emotional roller coaster, leaving you with a mix of powerful, often negative feelings. As a friend, parent, spouse, or relative, you may experience intense guilt, anger, and blame.

This anger might be directed at others, such as someone who you believe should have taken better care of your loved one, or even at the person who died for leaving you with so much pain. On the other hand, you might direct your anger inward and blame yourself. You may feel that you should have seen the signs, gotten them help, or acted differently.

It’s also possible to feel a mix of guilt and relief if your loved one had a long battle with mental illness. As your grief starts to lessen in the months or years that follow, you might even feel guilty for beginning to move on with your life.

Remember, healing doesn’t mean you’re forgetting. It simply means you’re learning to view blame and guilt more realistically. Below, we’ve provided some healthy techniques for coping with grief after a suicide loss.

1. Feel & Express Your Emotions

A crucial step in dealing with grief after suicide is allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions. You might think it’s better to hold yourself together and avoid the difficult emotions you’re feeling, but they’re there whether you acknowledge them or not.

Trying to ignore them will only delay your healing and deepen your pain. If you allow yourself to feel even the darkest, most disturbing emotions, you’ll find they will begin to lessen, and your pain will gradually ease.

It’s also important to remember that the final act of their life doesn’t have to define it. Try to remember and celebrate all the important and joyous moments of their life and the time you shared. Share your favorite memories, photos, and stories with others who loved them.

2. Be Patient With Yourself

The healing process is rarely a straight line. When dealing with grief after suicide, you may notice some days your grief may feel manageable, but a painful reminder like a birthday, a holiday, or a favorite song can cause waves of pain and sadness to return, even years after your loved one’s suicide.

Don’t feel like you have to rush the healing process; there’s no timeline on grieving a suicide loss. Others may move on or stop talking about your loss long before you’re ready. If you can, avoid making major life decisions while you’re still overwhelmed with grief.

3. Take Care of Yourself

It’s hard to focus on your own well-being during such a difficult time, but the stress and trauma of grieving a suicide loss can take a serious toll on your mental and physical health. Self-care is imperative when dealing with grief after suicide.

Try to prioritize self-care by eating healthy food, exercising, getting enough sleep, practicing mindfulness, and spending time outdoors. Even if you aren’t ready to talk about the difficult thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing, writing them down can be a powerful emotional release. You could also try writing a letter to your loved one, saying the things you never had a chance to say.

Remember that while it may be tempting to use drugs or alcohol to numb your pain, self-medicating won’t help you heal and will likely create more long-term problems. If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use and suicide grief, getting professional help is essential.

4. Get Yourself Professional Help

Dealing with grief after suicide can seem like an impossible task, especially when you try to do it yourself. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. It’s common for people who have lost someone to suicide to withdraw from others, often out of a fear of being a burden or having their loved one judged. But leaning on others can help ease the weight of your grief.

When you’re ready, talking about what you’re going through can be a vital first step in healing. If you’re struggling to find the right support for grieving a suicide loss, consider talking to a mental health professional who specializes in suicide grief counseling.

In addition to talking to a professional, you can also find comfort just by being around understanding friends and family who care about you, or joining a suicide grief support group to connect with others who are going through similar journeys.

Mental health professional comforting a woman dealing with grief after suicide.

If you’re not sure where to start, consider using the following grief and mental health support resources:

Are you or someone you know struggling with dealing with grief after suicide? Contact our team to see how Malvern Behavioral Health might be an effective treatment option for you.